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  • Summer Mulder

Who the heck are we to talk about this, anyway?

Updated: Oct 13, 2020

Whether you’ve listened to one Everything Always episode, a few, all of them or none of them… you might still be wondering who the heck are we to talk about blended families.

Whether you’ve listened to one Everything Always episode, a few, all of them or none of them… you might still be wondering who the heck are we to talk about blended families. So, I thought I’d share a quick email about who we are, why we’re talking about this stuff, and what you can expect in upcoming episodes and emails.

I’m Summer and he’s Mike and we’re both entrepreneurs. We’ve been running businesses for over twenty years and we can tell you this… blended families are way more challenging!

There are times when things are calm and there are times when it’s a ball of chaos and usually, it’s somewhere in between. 

But, who are we to talk about all this stuff? Well, we’re people just like you. Learning, just like you. The only difference is that we might be sharing a little bit more than you. 

If you listen to us, you know that we don’t claim to be experts and while the time logged of stepparenting, co-parent fighting, and taming sibling rivalry would equate to several masters degrees… we are far from being experts.

But, we have been at it long enough to experience many of the common pains and joys that accompany the blending of families.

There are things that you can control and there are things you simply cannot. You can’t control the person you co-parent with, and what they choose to do in their time, just like they can’t control you. 

  • You can’t control what your ex says to you (rude, nice, or flat out inappropriate). You can only control how you respond. 

  • You can’t control anyone’s opinion of how you parent. You can only control how you do your best.

  • You can’t control what your ex says about you to your children. You can only control how you answer when they ask you. 

  • You can’t control your children’s feelings and what they feel ready to talk about. You can only control being there for them when they are ready.

These are just a few of the reasons why blending families feels so overwhelming. 

We get that because we have been through the challenges and we still go through them. 

We’re not immune to things like:

One child wanting to live with the other parent.

Getting attacked by one of the exes.

One co-parent bad-mouthing the other to the children.

Exes spreading smear campaigns to family, friends and the public.

Two vastly different rules in each household.

Stepsiblings not getting along.

Disagreements about money and what’s fair or not.

Varying views on social media for kids and what’s okay and what’s not.

Going back to court for custody and child support issues.

Teen depression.

Parents shaming children.

Parent/ child relationship struggles.

Quality time for each of the relationships.

HOLY COW!!! That’s A LOT!

And it’s still not a list of all the issues.  

Talking about something and sharing your experience doesn’t declare you an expert. But, it does let others know you’re not alone.

And we want you to know that you are not alone in this. This is why we do this. When we receive emails or messages from you that something really helped - it lights us up!

When we get your questions and know how to answer them in a way that will move the needle for you and get results - it has us beaming!

We empathize with all of these type situations and our goal is to share parent to parent, friend to friend what has worked for us and what hasn’t. 

Hey, life continues to happen and there will be good days and there will be ‘please let me hide  under the covers’ days. You can get through all of them, though with the right tools and even better, you can come out stronger and better on the other side. Even, if in the money, it doesn’t feel like it.

Know that you will be misunderstood sometimes, but if you are always willing to do your best, you can achieve the outcome you want.

For us, that is the feeling of harmony within our family. It’s having more of the laughs, storytelling, hugs, high fives, and most importantly love.  

All of those issues we listed above are what we aim to talk about with you here, on social media, and on our podcast. Sometimes it will be something we’ve gone through ourselves that we feel is appropriate to share and sometimes it’s nothing we’ve been through but know it’s important to share and sometimes it is a topic that we have walked ourselves but out of respect and privacy for others, we will keep anonymous. But, it will be talked about.

Thank you for taking the journey with us and as always, if you have something specific that we can address for you - please let us know!

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